God must be using Chandler Smith to get my attention and I guess I am not listening! haha I was VERY upset that the surgery was rescheduled, but I think my main problem is that I am a planner. Which means I had my lists all written in the order that things were supposed to happen. I had everything all packed up for Madeline down to the birthday present for a party on Saturday. We had told her she was spending the night at Ms. Misa's and she was very excited. When she woke up yesterday morning, I asked her who she wanted to take her to school, me or Daddy. Well, she choose me, so I got all of her stuff in the car and away we went. I was doing good until her song came on the radio and she said "frank it up, Mama!" Needless to say I lost it and then preceded to walk her in to Lisa's where I sobbed like a baby telling her goodbye. "Why you frying, Mama?" Oh she is so sensitive and caring.. I finally tore myself away from her and drove to work. You know that feeling like the air has been sucked out of the room and you have a hard time breathing?!? That was exactly how I felt...now how on earth am I supposed to do this AGAIN in the morning with Chandler, was what I was thinking. I get to work still teary eyed but decide that I am going to make it. That is until 10:00, when I get the phone call that I had not been expecting!! The cardiac coordinator said that there an emergency and that they were going to have to reschedule. WHAT?!?! Um, no I was preparing myself for in the morning..you have got to be kidding me?!? There are no words to describe my emotions up to that point and to know that I am going to have to experience those feelings all over again is a feeling of pure dread! Now, of course I feel for those poor parents that took our spot and feel so blessed that our girl could wait, but still I was aggravated to say the least! I know that God is so good and He has a plan that I have no idea about; however, I am not going to lie and say that I was okay with the changes.. But after talking with my wonderful husband and having some time to digest the news, I am going to be fine..I guess I kinda have no choice though, huh?!? As Kris pointed out, there are many different reasons why this happened...Chandler will now be a little bigger (she will be five months on the 12th!), it gives us time to get some unfinished business taken care of that we weren't able to get done (like clean our pigsty!) and that it just wasn't meant to happen on the 1st, period!!
So all that being said, the new game plan is that we will go up after lunch on Monday the 11th to do blood work since the blood they took during pre-op will no longer be any good. Kris, Chandler, and I will stay in Jackson that night and Madeline will finally get to spend the night with Ms. Misa and we will get up and have surgery on Tuesday, February 12th (here's hoping!!!!). So, from now til then we will carry on about our lives and spend a little extra quality time with our two angels and thank God for choosing us to be their parents!! Hopefully next week will not drag by, but if it does, that will be okay, too, because I know that eventually Chandler will have heart surgery and I will probably be wishing that I could go back to today and all I was fussing about was the postponement! As my motto states, "this too shall pass" and yes, it will...
Oh and I am wearing my red shirt today in recognition of heart month, are you?!? :)
trusting in God,
Megan
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| sassafras |
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| she likes her purse that "Mary Pain" (Mary McLean) gave her! |
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| this is called sleeping hard at Grammy and Papa J's house |
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| peek-a-boo I see you |
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